Will Teachers Defraud The Police?
Came across this hilarious Daily-Mail-Omatic headline generator - very funny and rather accurate in a predictive kind of way!
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{ Monthly Archives }
May 2008
What happened to basic maths?
We went out for some food and drink last night and ended up, after some tapas, in The White Hart in Crystal Palace.
Since the birth of A I don’t go into pubs as often as I used to, but I’m not a complete irregular and I was struck by how reliant many pubs have become on their computerised tills.
I ordered two drinks last night - one bitter, one lager. The barman pulled the pints and set them down in front of me.
Now, ordinarily, I’d expect the person behind the bar to then say something along the lines of, “That’s £5.20, please.”
But not last night. After giving me my drinks, he then had to go halfway back up the bar to ‘log in’ to his till and put in the drinks, before returning with the price.
How tough is it to remember the price of different types of beer and to add them up?
We’re not talking rocket science here. As it turned out, I discovered later that they were both the same price, so he wasn’t even having to add together two different figures.
How ridiculous is it that bar staff now need their till to tell them how much a couple of pints will cost.
I’ve worked a few (non-computerised) bars in my time and you’re reliant on your basic numeracy, otherwise there would be seriously pissed-off punters waiting far too long for a drink to slake their thirst.
Whoever said that computers made our lives easier never worked behind a bar, clearly!
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I wish I could fly…
Do the queues in the Post Office ever get any better?
No matter how much you want to avoid them, there are some things that have to be done over the counter in a post office. So this lunchtime I found myself standing in a queue for 30 minutes, snaking my way slowly to the front just to pay in some money to a bank account.
To be honest, I’d resigned myself to a long wait before I got there, which made it slightly easier to bear, but after a while the standing around, alleviated only by a brief bit of excitement as you shuffle nearer the front, gets too much to bear.
It’s not as if they put on a great deal of entertainment. They have a version of Post Office TV that simply shows a loop of all the ‘great’ products that the PO has on offer - including broadband, pet insurance and car insurance. What happened to stamps, first day covers and postal orders, that’s what I want to know?
As if that wasn’t bad enough, they were then ‘promising’ us the enticing prospect of a celebrity turning up in your local post office. Today, that was none other than ventriloquist Keith Harris and his dummy Orville - or should that be the other way round?
Now, Keith Harris and Orville were pretty bloody irritating the first time around and that was just on the TV. If I was standing in a mile-long queue in the post office and those two wandered in, they wouldn’t be very well received, I can tell you.
There would a news story in the paper along the lines of: Ventriloquist stuffed with duck!
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