Yesterday we enjoyed the delights of Beckenham and had some lunch at the local Pizza Express, taking advantage of their Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal – no shame for me!
Not long after we arrived and had ordered, a young woman came in with four kids, varying in age from around 10 down to a 2-year-old girl.
We probably wouldn’t have paid them much attention if it wasn’t for the fact that she couldn’t get the youngest out of her pushchair and blocked lots of people for a while, before I gallantly (!?!?) went over and unhooked the toddler’s foot.
It was only when I went back to our table and looked again, I realised that this young woman was actually only a teenager and was looking after these 4 kids as an au pair.
Now, I’m not against live-in help per se – after all, for the rich and well-heeled they serve a useful purpose – not having to do all the dirty work, for starters.
And when you’re jetting off worldwide doing multi-million pound business deals, your kids take a back seat, don’t they?
OK, so I’m taking the mick, but I know that many rich parents make use of young women during the week, while they’re at work.
But this was Saturday. Lunchtime on Saturday. And these poor kids – who actually looked pretty used to the experience – weren’t being taken out by their parents, but a teenage au pair.
Righteous indignation, I know, but not exactly the model way to parent in anyone’s eyes.
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As Timmy Mallett’s ‘career’ receives a boost with his appearance in I’m A Celebrity, there’s an increasing worry that he’s getting ready to re-release his abominable version of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini that he somehow managed to get to No.1 back in 1990 under the guise of Bombalurina.
It’s not that the former Wacaday presenter doesn’t deserve another (let’s hope) brief shot at fame, but let’s not forget that his short pop career was masterminded by none other than the (Dark) Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Bombalurina is, as any fewl nose, a character from Lloyd-Webber’s phenomenally successful musical Cats, but it was also the name given to Timmy’s group which Lloyd Webber produced, hence the Cats link.
In fact, Lloyd Webber had previous form at entering the pop charts undercover. Along with a guy called Nigel Wright, he made a song called Tetris, using music from the computer game, under the name Doctor Spin. The track charted at No.6 in the UK charts in 1992 – amazing.
I know ALW has gained some sort of cool status again for his appearances on BBC’s Joseph/SoM/Oliver reality series, but that’s surely no reason for him to make more money and re-inflict IBTWYPDB on us again, is it? Surely Timmy Mallett alone is enough?
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Onion News Network spot on, as always. Tell me this doesn’t ring true!
YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A ‘Good’ Video
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So John Sergeant performed his last waltz on Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing and bid adieu to the competition.
Ironically, it completely failed to boost ratings and Strictly still lost out to X Factor.
But for me, it smacked of a desperate attempt by the powers-that-be to try and ‘make things alright’. For starters, there was the insincere ‘fulsome praise’ from Len Goodman, on behalf of all the judges. What rot! They were the architects of his downfall and as such had no right to say how wonderful they thought he was.
Then there was the ludicrous spectre of him performing a dance again. The whole appeal of John Sergeant on this year’s show was the opprobrium that the judges heaped upon his attempts each week. Without that, his waltz just felt a bit limp and flat – in spite of the standing ovation he got from the audience.
And then there was the rather bizarre parting, where John eulogised Kristina Rihanoff and she said how much she had enjoyed dancing with him. At no point, did he indicate what had finally forced his hand and made him leave, even though Bruce Forsyth rather cringingly asked him if he was pushed into abdicating his place in the show.
In yesterday’s News Of The World, it was pointed out that John Sergeant was asked three years in a row to take part and he only finally agreed because of his allegiance to the BBC. That he felt kicked in the teeth by the enusing events goes to show why he found such solace in the continuing public support.
To be honest, John and Kristina are possibly the only people who have come out of all this well. John Sergeant played the game brilliantly and will no doubt have already had a chat with his agent about how much more he can command for future after-dinner engagements and TV work.
And Kristina was given the perfect platform for her first foray into Strictly. How many of us can remember the name of the other blonde debutante dancer who partnered Mark Foster? It was Hayley, in case you can’t, but many viewers will have already forgotten her.
In some ways, I feel sorry for the remaining couples still in the show. Whether it’s Tom, Austin or Christine (massive public support) who wins, this year’s series will always be remembered for John Sergeant alone.
And I’ll be interested to see if they can pull it out of the bag for next year. A new rule has already been planned to stop ‘bad’ acts continually knocking other better dancers out, but that seems too little too late. They always say that a show is bigger than the people within, but for once John Sergeant may well prove that wrong.
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