A sense of physical loss

David BowieWe’ve all lost someone we care about. It’s devastating. You feel as if there’s a big hole somewhere inside you.

Today came the frankly-unbelieveable news that David Bowie has died from cancer. In the hours that followed, I went through emotions that I’ve felt before.

I sat staring at my computer screen, unable to do anything of any merit. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone. I got angry when I saw people talking about other, more trivial (in my view) things.

When someone you’re close to dies, there’s that awful realisation that you’ll never see or hear them do anything new. There won’t be any newer photos of them. No more conversations to enjoy. You’ll never laugh with them again. You can’t call them up for a chat any more.

What you are left with are the memories. Those little things that only you found funny. When they made you cry. The idiosyncrasies that irked, but were also so endearing. The personal experiences that no-one else quite had in the same way.

The death of David Bowie has made me much sadder than I expected. And it’s also reminded me of past losses but with the knowledge that it’s only in a physical sense.

While they still make you feel something – whatever the emotion – the people we care about never truly leave you.

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