Lots of excitement among those over 35, when it was announced earlier this month that Dallas was going to return to our screens with some of the original cast playing themselves.
Yes, Larry Hagman and Linda Gray are likely to be back as JR and Sue Ellen Ewing, 20 years after it finished its run.
But given the passage of time, what has happened to the likes of Cliff Barnes, Lucy Ewing and Ray Krebbs? I decided to do a bit of sleuthing and find out what’s happened to the cast of Dallas?
Seeing as Louis Walsh seems to be a popular chap currently, I thought I’d update my occasional postings on his ‘makeover’.
Just over a year ago, I posted about Louis’ obvious makeover, but he’s gone much further this year. Taking a few tips from Simon Cowell, he’s clearly had his eyes done and he’s also removed much of the grey from his hair colour. There’s also possibly a bit of Botox in there, too.
I think he looks a lot better, but it’s quite a drastic change. Anyone else like his new look, or should he have simply aged gracefully instead?
Oh arse! It seems as if little old me has managed to insert myself into a veritable cauldron of hot water.
I did some piffling little interview with the beacon of journalism (and rather fine repository of male athleticism) that is Attitude magazine and, mea culpa, I wandered blindly like a herd of myopic buffalo into a forest of feminism.
Why, I hear you ask, did I even comment on the area of women’s libido and their predilection for all things sexual? Well, I’m one of this country’s most celebrated polymaths and it would be unseemly not to an offer an opinion on a subject when asked, would it?
After all, I am the font of all knowledge, as omniscient as the Oracle of Delphi, more pansophical than Jeeves himself – a supercilious fellow, who I did do a rather fine job of portraying, if I may say so myself.
It is, admittedly, a rather long time since I did actually engage in the act of fornication with one of the fairer sex, but I do have a number of female acolyt…, I mean friends, and they’ve never shown the slightest inclination to wander around Hampstead Heath of a Thursday evening on a hunt for rumpy-pumpy, so Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
It’s not even as if my comments are particularly original – you only have to take a wander through my celebrated bestseller, The Hippopotamus to see that I’ve said all of this before.
Anyway, may I prostrate myself in front of all of those whom I have mortally offended and allow myself to be thoroughly flagellated for my outmoded and, seemingly, controversial, views.
Allow me to feel thoroughly arsed off and bid my farewell to you all.
