Why genes mean little in how our children act

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I’ve read some eye-opening books during 2017, but none more so than Oliver James’ Not In Your Genes.

Subtitled “The real reasons children are like their parents”, the book reveals the truth about how little impact genes have on the way we turn out as people.

At the core of this is the seemingly-little-known revelation that genes play no part in things like mental illness, our skill at various things like sport or music, or what we enjoy learning at school.

The fact that conditions such as depression or ADHD are not at all genetic and inherently down to nurture is a bit of a shock.
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Love someone? Make sure you tell them why they’re so special

I read The Observer’s article remembering George Michael today with great sadness – and not just because I liked him.

It also reminded me that – so often – it takes someone to die before we talk about how much we loved them and what was so special about them.

The Observer feature has Elton John saying “he was one of the kindest, most generous people that I ever met in my life” – I hope he got to say that to George, because everyone needs an ego boost every now and then.

My point? Today, think about someone you truly care about and make sure you tell them why they’re so special. None of us knows what could happen tomorrow.

Why no woman should want to be referred to as ‘female’

Our cultural norms are generally something we don’t give a lot of thought to, but when they affect 50% of people’s everyday lives, without us realising, then it’s time to stop and reassess.

I’m currently reading Cordelia Fine’s excellent book Delusions of Gender and she talks eloquently about the loaded nature of the words ‘male’ and ‘female’.

Essentially, as soon as someone associates you with one or the other, you’re automatically stereotyped, regardless of your personality, qualities and achievements.

When we categorise someone as male or female, as we inevitably do, gender associations are automatically activated and we perceive them through the filter of cultural beliefs and norms. This is sexism gone underground – unconscious and unintended – and social psychologists and lawyers are becoming very interested in how this new, covert and unintended form of sexism disadvantages women in the workplace. There’s little doubt that this new form of subtle discrimination is important and does hold women back, especially, perhaps, mothers.

Food for thought.