Category: books

Why don’t we tell the truth more often?

The Organized Mind - Daniel LevitinI’m currently reading Daniel Levitin’s excellent book The Organized Mind in which he delves into all sorts of ways that our brains work and how we might want to change our behaviour to make our lives easier.

He makes some excellent points on the human desire to lie in everyday interactions and asks why we do it.

“One reason is fear of reprisal when we’ve done something we shouldn’t. It is not the better part of human nature, but it is human nature to lie to avoid parliament.”

But Levitin then points out the conundrum, also based on natural behaviour.

“But it is also human nature to forgive, especially when we’re given an explanation. In one stufy, people who tried to cut in line were forgiven by others even if their explanation was ridiculous.
In a line for a copy machine, ‘I’m sorry, may I cut in? I need to make copies’ was every bit as effective as ‘I’m sorry, may I cut in? I’m on deadline.”

And if you think forgiveness is only reserved for trivial explanations, then you’d be wrong.

“When doctors at the University of Michigan hospitals started disclosing trheir mistakes to patients openly, malpractice suits were cut in hal. The biggest impediment to resolution had been requiring patients to imagine what their doctors were thinking, and having to sue to find out, rather than just allowing doctors to explain how a mistake happened.”

Nicholas Epley, a professor at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business writes:

“If being transparent strengthens the social ties that make life worth living and enables others to forgive our shortcomings, why not do it more often?”

Being honest with others is something we all struggle with and, obviously, some white lies are all part of the social glue that prevents tempers flaring and avoids hurting other people, but there’s clearly a case to being more open.

If you’re interesting the way our brains work, Daniel Levitin’s The Organized Mind is a fascinating read.

The Hard Thing About Hard Things: why one-on-one meetings are so important

I’ve just finished Ben Horowitz’s brilliant book The Hard Thing About Hard Things – in which he shares his own widsom gleaned from being CEO of a start-up (Opsware) that was inches away from liquidation and ultimately went on to become very successful.

There’s no grandstanding in the book – Horowitz openly admits when he got things wrong, how he’d change things if he did them again and lifts the lid on some of the stuff most employees never give a second thought to when they do their regular hours.

Make sure you use those 1-2-1s effectively

Horowitz is particularly interesting on company culture, how important it is and why it’s way more than allowing people to play table tennis and use scooters to get around the office.

He talks very passionately about the regular catch-ups managers have with direct reports and why they’re so important for employees.

The key to a good one-on-one meeting is the understanding that it is the employee’s meeting rather than the manager’s meeting… During the meeting, since it’s the employee’s meeting, the manager should do 10 percent of the talking and 90 percent of the listening. Note that this is the opposite of most one-on-ones.

Many managers treat catch-ups as a way of imparting information that they could easily deliver via email, or a casual conversation at a desk. Continue reading “The Hard Thing About Hard Things: why one-on-one meetings are so important”

5 ways YOU can be brilliant every day

I recently read the rather inspirational Be Brilliant Every Day by Andy Cope & Andy Whittaker – not so much a self-help book, more a book to help you change your daily mindset.

“This book is for the person you already are… It’s a reminder that you are already brilliant, sometimes. And that you need to start being brilliant a bit more often.”

Here are 5 pearls of wisdom from their funny, down-to-earth and hugely affecting book.

1. Embrace your inner child

Children are a wonderful example of our natural state of being. Their default setting is playful, delirious, curious, fun, joyful and excitable.

The Andys’ point here is to encourage you to think about what ‘kind’ of person you are, or rather you want to be. Do you want to be dull and boring, or full of life and unbridled enthusiasm.

I often see young kids skipping down the road, singing out loud and I wonder when and why it became socially unacceptable for adults to do the same.

2. Happiness is experience not stuff

There’s been a growing trend during the recession towards people looking for an experience, rather than a consumable product. Witness the rise of events such as Secret Cinema or the generosity shown towards Chris Evans’ Children In Need auction packages.

If you list the top 10 happiest moments of our life, there’s unlikely to be a single product on there. It’ll be the experiences. It’ll be things you’ve done, moments of joy and achievements that have left you grinning, rather than products you’ve purchased.

In other words, stop buying and start living.

3. Remember the Losada Line

Although it’s called a line, the Losada Line is actually a number: 2.9013 to be exact.

It’s the ratio of positive to negative comments necessary to create flourishing relationships. In plain, simple English, it takes about three positives to make up for one negative.

As the book points out, 3 is the minimum number to keep things harmonious and 6 is a much better number to aim for.

And don’t feel as if you need to avoid all negativity. Some bad vibes are acceptable.

Since writing this, I’ve read that the Losada Line has now been debunked as a concept.

– You can find out more here

4. Live in the ‘now’

Mindfulness has become a bit of a buzzword recently and if you want to be more acquainted with it, I suggest you read this interview with the pioneer behind it, Professor Mark Williams.

One of the major parts of being mindful, though, is accepting that the past is gone and unchangeable and that any vision you may have of the future is unreal.

Now pair this with Andy Cope and Andy Whittaker’s take:

Happiness has been missold as the reward, the elusive end point that we all crave. It’s something you must earn, or pursue… You are sold the vision of ‘I’ll be happy when…’ … What if being happy NOW is the key to success?

In other words, stop waiting to be brilliant and happy and start enjoying your life at the moment.

5. Stop making policies

We all want to be valued. To be respected. So why is it that value and respect is constantly undermined by petty policies at work.

Every time you put a policy, protocol or procedure into your organisation, you take away some passion and trust from the people who are already doing the job… Invariably, rules, procedures and standards are there to stop people being rubbish. The problem is they also clip the wings of those who are brilliant.

As the authors say, policies and rules tend to stifle passion and trust – two of the most important values in any organisation.

Be Brilliant Every Day is full of superb insight and well worth a read.

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