Oh bugger, they’ve sent in the balloons!

Count ZeppelinGet this! In Russia, they’re having trouble keeping the criminals down, so what have they invested in? Hi-tech computer systems to track the malefactors? More manpower to flood the streets with? Don’t be silly, this is Russia we’re talking about.

Nooo, what they’ve done is bought a couple of new vehicles for the force. But we’re not talking zhigulis, or Ladas – they’ve put a ton of roubles behind five zeppelins. Yup, you read that right. Those big pointy balloon things that are so inexorably connected with Stairways to Heaven, cricket at Lords and explosions after WW1.

I bet the Russian Mafia were shaking in their boots when they read Pravda that morning! Pheweee – perhaps Scotland Yard are looking into bringing back Penny Farthings were the bobbies on the beat. You can just see it now, can’t you?

“Office Karkov, there is a man mugging a lady on Nevsky Prospect.”
“Certainly, sir, I’ll just get Officer Titov and head off down there in the Zeppelin.”

I rest my case!

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