I don’t normally get telesales people calling me, as I’m pretty good at un/ticking the boxes, but sometimes obviously some get through the net.
Last night, I received possibly the most bizarre call ever on my mobile – caller ID says ‘Private No’.
The time: 8.47pm
Me (nervously): He-llo
Caller: Hi, is that Rob?
Me (even more nervously): Err, yes
Caller: Rob, it’s James from First Vitality
Me: Errr, hi
James: You’ve ordered Omega 3 tablets from us before, right?
Me: I don’t think so
James (flummoxed): Oh… well, do you reckon you will?
Me: Probably not
James: Well, you should, they’re really good
Me: Right…
James: Why not check out our website for them some time…
Me: OK
James: Thanks, then. Bye!
End of conversation
I’m not mad, am I? That is totally shit, isn’t it? And no, I haven’t even bothered to look at the First Vitality website since.
Nice. I mean awful. I used to go to school with a guy who went on to become a kitchen company’s telesales supervisor. My sister worked with him part time while she was a student. When there were special offers – I dunno, like a fiver off a fitted kitchen, this dude would cold-call people saying “Hi! This is Ted from Crap (probably not their real name) Kitchens, and have I got news for you!”. Yeah Ted. I’ve got news for you too – fuck off!
And holy crap. I think that’s Ted in the picture.