I’m a Celeb’s back… not as good as last year!

I’m A Celeb 2008So the latest line-up for I’m A Celeb has been announced and it has that familiar feel about it. The ‘feel’ being – oh, god what a load of rubbish.

Lots of random young ‘stars’ who most people have never heard of – Nicola McLean, anyone? Boring popstars/soapstars who are desperate to revive their career now they’re no longer a part of what made them famous – Simon Webbe from Blue and ex-EastEnder Joe Swash.

In fact, the most interesting people are the older contestants who might get a little more irritated and annoyed by everyone else: Esther Rantzen, Robert Kilroy Silk, Martina Navratilova and George Takei will surely dominate the action.

The thing is, though, if you think back to previous years, many of the contestants fit into a specific bracket:
– Weird American (David Gest, Angie Dickinson, Huggy Bear – Martina in 2008)
– Outspoken older woman (Christine Hamilton, Lynne Franks, Jan Leeming, Janet Street Porter – Esther in 2008)
– Slightly older attractive woman (Sheree Murphy, Cerys Matthews, Natalie Appleton – Dani Behr in 2008)
– Ex soap star (Elaine Lordan, Malandra Burrows, Dean Gaffney, Chris Bisson – Joe in 2008)
– The one that no-one remembers but they needed to make up the numbers (Diane Modahl, Nigel Benn, Faith Brown, Kimberley Davies – Carly this year)

I don’t really want to commit to watching it, but something tells me I’ll be hooked in 2 weeks time. Roll on Ant & Dec…

What’s George Bush doing til January?

DubyaGeorge Bush must feel a little like someone who has resigned from their job, but is being made to work out their notice period.

No-one cares about the person who’s leaving any more. All they’re interested in is what the replacement can bring to the job. He keeps swanning in for meetings and being greeted like an old friend, even though he’s only been around for a few minutes.

Meanwhile Dubya gets to keep his desk for a few more months, but people will begin to stop inviting him to meetings.

Do you think he’ll start to spend more time on Facebook or playing Halo 3?

Perhaps he’ll take extended lunchbreaks and go to the pub for a couple of beers. After all, who cares if you come back from Nandos smelling of piri-piri chicken and a little tipsy after a couple extra San Miguels.

And surely he must wake up some mornings now and think, ‘oh fuck it, I’m not going in today’.

Maybe he’s starting to ransack the stationery cupboard and hoard a couple of staplers, lever arch files and biros.

If I was him, I’d also be saving important information onto disc that he could take with me. A few codes for the nuclear arsenal, passwords to get into the FBI database… that sort of thing. No-one’ll notice will they?

Why John Sergeant is right and the Strictly judges are wrong

John Sergeant and Kristina RihanoffThere’s mutiny in the air on Strictly Come Dancing as the judges begin their annual refrain about how this is a dancing competition and so the worst dancers should be voted off, in other words John Sergeant.

And, do you know what? It’s getting boring. Granted when a crap dancer gets a good dancer ousted it can be a bit irritating, but John Sergeant got it spot on this week.

Talking to Tess Daly, John Sergeant kindly pointed out that they were only ‘playing by the rules’. In other words, the judges give 50% of the score and the public give the other 50%.

This means that wily political operators like Mr Sergeant play the game brilliantly by encouraging the audience to give him their support.

And what’s more, this year he’s bloody entertaining. The situation with Kate Garraway, Georgina Bouzova and Fiona Phillips in previous years got a little silly – not only were they crap dancers, but they weren’t actually than entertaining as people.

In 2008, John Sergeant makes bad dancing watchable. He’s funny, has a partner who’s a very clever choreographer and has a personality that just oozes charm, niceness and empathy.

Of course, it must be galling for Len, Arlene, Craig and Bruno to see better dancers voted off, but they were the ones who craved the power of the dance-off and being given the final vote – more fool you, guys.

And let’s face it, without being too disrespectful, the likes of Andrew Castle, Jessie Wallace, and Mark Foster weren’t challenging Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers with their twinkletoes, were they?