What the government really gets up to

CocaineThe front page of the freesheet Metro this morning loudly proclaimed that it costs the more to have a pint of beer, as it does to purchase a line of coke. Apparently, ‘in London the average price of a pint – at £4.06 – is dearer than a hit of heroin.’

Now the thing I found mildly amusing about this story was the presence of 5 words at the end of the first paragraph of this story, namely “according to offical government figures”.

This basically implies that somewhere in Whitehall, there is a department that keeps tabs on the cost of drugs.

You can just picture the scenario, can’t you?

“Fancy coming for a lunchtime pint, Pete?”

“Sorry, mate, I can’t. I’ve got to pop out and find out how much it costs to get an eighth of coke and some heroin for a report. If I don’t get it in by the end of the day, my boss is going to kill me!”

And there was me thinking that they spent all day writing boring memos and faffing about on Excel spreadsheets!

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